Tap Tap Tap… is this thing on? lol
I know it has been a bit silent on this end and for that I apologize. Sometimes in life, the roller coaster takes my breath away and I am unable to speak for a bit. That being said, Let’s take a ride back to the start of the newest roller coaster of our adoption journey starting January of 2017.
* Although I am going to paraphrase in this post, please feel free to click on the blue and underlined date hyperlinks to read the whole story of these experiences. *
On Jan 16, 2017 10:57 AM We reached out and shared that we had discerned to adopt again; this time domestically. We were met with many thoughts and prayers from you all. The support we felt was such a gift to our hearts. We updated our home-study with Hope’s Promise and then started working with an agency in Arizona; Building Arizona Families.
We moved forward with joyful anticipation…then the wait began.
April 27th came a phone call that we weren’t expecting and caught us completely off guard. We were told that the baby girl had tested positive for Down Syndrome in a Quadscreen test. We prayed and discerned that we were called to this baby and that we still meant the “Yes” that we had said, No matter what. After some time, we were informed that they had done a secondary test and it turned out that the baby did not have Downs and also, the baby was not a “She” rather a “He!” lol we got a laugh out of that. Feel free to read more by double-clicking the link: May 10, 2017 5:15 PM
Life went on and our excitement grew as letters came in from our Expectant Mother and the precious face of our son was seen in a precious ultrasound picture.
Time passed and we became excited about where we were going to stay during our time in Arizona. It was a beautiful house and we loved our time time there.
Below are pictures of our trip and while we were waiting the arrival of Ezekiel.
We first stayed at a hotel in one of my old home towns; Albuquerque, NM.
It was powerful to see Kai in this metal white crib as the last time I had seen him sleep in one like that, he was still in China.
Outside the hotel I say this “It’s a Boy” confetti! It made me really excited!
We finally made it to Arizona!
Our first stop was staying at a friend’s New house, we are so thankful that they opened their house up to us to stay; even before they had moved in!
Tim celebrated his 38th birthday on July 29th, 2017 while we were there.
The kids made him a “Birthday Cake” Oreo birthday cake. 🙂
We enjoyed visiting the Titan Missile Museum/ underground launch site.
We finally made it to the house that we would call our own while we stayed in AZ. Things started getting real and the excitement went to an all time level! 🙂
We had a ton of fun in the backyard pool!
We got everything ready: Carseat and diaperbag…check, Ezekiel’s bed…check and I continued to pump to make sure my b.milk supply was where it needed to be for when our sweet boy arrived!
As the due date came upon us and there wasn’t any word yet, nerves and excitement energy was high so we all tried to keep busy and made sure to focus on how much we enjoyed one another’s company. 🙂
One aspect that helped the wait was a cherished visit from my best friend and sister-from-another-mother, Danica and her mother (Grandma Chanco) and her boys!
Before we knew it, it was time for Danica to go and there was still no word or Ezekiel making his arrival. I wasn’t sure where my kiddos were going to go while we were at the hospital with Ezekiel and wasn’t sure who would care for them….
MOMMY TO THE RESCUE!! My mom hopped the next available flight and arrived to AZ the next day. We were relieved and now I know the timing of it all and my Mom coming out was ordained by God for little did we know what would transpire.
We had a blast! We played games, swam and spent precious time with her.0
Tim and Elijah even took a bike ride in over 100 degree weather together and found a really scenic spot; Precious memories for sure.
FINALLY! 6 days after Ezekiel’s due date…WE GOT THE CALL!!!
Our hearts were bursting and our minds swirling with emotion and joy. We finally laid eyes on our precious Ezekiel Jude.
Our family finally felt complete and our hearts were overflowing!
Ezekiel “Zeke” latched like a pro and nurse exclusively from that moment on! All my hard work to re-lactate and all our prayers were answered in this precious boy.
I am so thankful that my mother was able to be there during such a beautiful and cherished time.
We were all smitten with our little man and my heart felt it would burst when I saw them soaking in the love they felt for our precious one.
We were blessed to be able to take Ezekiel to mass multiple times and he was blessed many times. This little man was SO LOVED!
After a week of bliss and bonding….our whole world came crashing down when we heard the words…”There has been an issue, there was a miss communication and the birth-grandmother is fighting for him as the Birth-mother made it known that she wants her mother to raise Ezekiel but the prison didn’t let us know and now CPS is coming and there is nothing we can do. We are so sorry.”
We said our goodbyes and prepared the children as much as we could. After a whirlwind of pain and blurred, tear stained eyes, we were left with broken hearts and a condolences fruit basket from our agency. It was a kind gesture but I wish we never were able to earn it in that way.
We decided to drive through and not stop for the night at a hotel as we just wanted to be home…That was the most Quiet and stoic ride I had ever experienced; even the kids had little to say.
Determined to make a fun memory, we stopped at one of Tim’s favorite restaurants to eat; Crackle Barrel. It was nice to see some smiles on our kiddos faces.
When we returned home we had empty arms and empty hearts. We were blessed to come home to a thoughtful bouquet from our dear friend Lisa and a basket of dinner from my mother. We were hurting sooo deeply and yet we felt so loved.
We don’t understand why things ended the way they did but we believe that we have a loving God who loves us more than we could ever imagine. We have to trust that his bigger picture is one of mercy and love and we have chosen to respond with complete, vulnerable trust in God’s Divine Providence and love for us.
Thank you all for your prayers through our hardest time. We are forever grateful.
God Bless you all!
We took some time to mourn and moved forward with hopeful anticipation. We were matched three months later with a EM due with a baby girl in April. Sadly, this turned out to be a situation that the EM took advantage of the agency, the system and us and we were left heartbroken once more. At this time we decided to meet with a grief counselor and mourn our losses and re-discern God’s will for our lives. We went to him for almost 4 months and were able to heal immensely and grow in love and life tools in our marriage. We felt very blessed and we were able to discern that we were called to try just one more year. We feel as though there is a missing soul in our family and we were blessed by a generous gift from an anonymous donor that paid for our home-study update!
We don’t know what God has planned for us but we know it is going to be amazing! Please pray with us that his will be shown abundantly clear in our journey and that our little angel will finally find their way to our family.
Our home-study update will be presented to the board of directors this coming Tuesday; August 7th! We pray to be approved soon after and we can then be available to find our little one! We are so excited for our journey to start up once more!
COME HOLY SPIRIT!